Veiled Veracity: Hatake Kakashi
by HannahSakura.Pinoy
Summary: What happens when Kakashi changes back into his true form? FEM Kakashi x Genma?
1. Chapter 1

Just ignore whoever is alive that is not supposed to be and all the other stuff that may be different okay? I don't read the manga so I only know so much about it.

Pairings are undecided.

* * *

Chapter 1:

* * *

A sigh. The only indication of the Godaime Hokage's reluctance to enter the unlit hospital room and become captive in deafening silence.

A façade of poise, of confidence, and of impassiveness hid the sense of inward dread as the door slides open. She steps in, in to the room where a woman of courage and strength lay like a broken, battered doll on a plain, white bed. The blanketed form's chest rose and fell slightly — a faint indication of life.

Her face, from what could be made out in the darkness, was the image of peace. The absolute loveliness could not be hidden also, even under the mask that cover the entirety of her face sans the eyes. The long, silvery gray tresses rest around the pillow and loosely shaped her face, adding more to the already exquisite features.

Sleeping beauty. A fine description of her. If only she truly is in slumber.

"How long are you planning on feigning insentient Kakashi?"

And she wakes, an eye of beautiful charcoal gray flutters open with such idle grace, but not before the thought of being wrong crossed Tsunade's mind from the silence that stretched so long. The other, the one of red and black, remain as it is. Closed and sealed with a patch is the mismatching left eye, from abuse — and from the fact that it is not of her own.

They eye doesn't glance at her direction, and Tsunade does nothing to drive it's gaze on her, knowing well enough that if Kakashi wanted to, she would've already done so. The blonde Hokage kept her own gaze on the broken visage across the dark room and approaches, with soft clicks of her heels, the chair beside the lone bed.

"I see that you are feeling better." It came out more of a question than a statement, unintentionally so. Nevertheless, Tsunade was unsure. Physically the body is recovering and undoubtedly better. But the mind is suffering — it had always been.

"I believe you are well enough to answer a few questions." Still the predicted silence. An answer wasn't essential, but Tsunade hoped for at least a sign of attention. Hatake Kakashi is after all excellent in concealment. The best of the best. A master.

"But before that, I've been informed that you've brought something that would increase your already-towering shinobi prestige during your return from the mission." She hoped the pride in her voice wasn't too apparent, yet the young woman didn't seem to care either way.

Such things weren't important to the Copy-Nin. Tsunade knows this well, yet she continues anyway, just for the sake of breaking the silence.

"The news have already reached other countries. In fact, I've been receiving quite an amount of praise already despite it having transpired only two days ago. Such feat should not go unrewarded. The people—"

"I don't quite feel the need of you telling me that, Hokage-sama." For one who is supposedly too injured and chakra depleted to be awake, Kakashi spoke as if her body's delicate condition did not affect her at all. The tone was cold and taciturn, something the young woman rarely displays.

But it's something Tsunade had always been familiar with, coming from this young woman. Kakashi had always been a child of indifference, even before she was turned into a boy.

Yes, Kakashi was born female. It was Tsunade's expertise in medicine that brought Hatake Sakumo to her one day, pleading to alter his daughter's gender.

The child had no mother, Sakumo reasoned. He did not possess the time to take care of her, and he believed that growing up as a boy would be safer for a motherless child. Furthermore, she would be protected from such mission that only kunoichi do.

Out of pity for the child, and as a present for her friend, she relented. She'd had second thoughts of course. In addition to listening to Sakumo and Jiraiya's arguments about the subject matter.

Jiraiya did not entirely oppose the idea, but he believed the child should be given a choice. And when questioned, Kakashi had even been excited to become a boy.

Jiraiya did not say anything, but it was obvious he'd still been a little reluctant to concur.

"_The kid's three years old Tsunade! You can't trust her to know what she's agreeing to!"_

But it had been too late.

Up until now, Tsunade doesn't know if she'd made the right decision.

"Alright." She took a deep breath to ready herself, and as calmly as possible, she asked what she'd been meaning to ever since news of her arrived.

"What happened?"

Tsunade immediately sensed Kakashi's body become rigid and could almost hear the grit of her teeth. She closed her eyes to not watch the clenching of the fist, the trembling rage of the body, and the pained expression on that normally expressionless face. It was a look a mask isn't enough to hide.

* * *

A frown.

Tsunade's face is in a frown. _Not a good sign_, Jiraiya thought as he made his way to his blonde ex-teammate's desk. She ignored him — and his actions of trying to snap her out of the trance-like state —and kept staring at the door. Or more of the space between her and the door, actually.

Jiraiya had a feeling of where her thoughts are. Practically the whole village was gabbing about it as he passed by from the gate to here.

"It's Kakashi isn't it? I heard he got into battle with some Akatsuki." He grabbed a chair from the corner and pulled by the desk, sitting on it while giving out a sigh. "That boy. Still alive I presume?"

Silence. A vein throbbed on Jiraiya's forehead.

"Oi, Tsunade, are you even listening?"

A weary sigh from Tsunade's painted lips.

"As a matter of fact —" He cut her off. This time it was the Hokage's turn to fume.

"Good." Jiraiya crossed his arms and bobbed his head up and down with his eyes closed. "That boy is so careless." He shook his head disapprovingly and tsked.

"Jiraiya."

"I heard he fainted again."

"Jiraiya."

"He probably abused hi—"

"Look. I'm not in he mood." Tsunade leaned back on her chair, pleased from the silence that only lasted for a short minute. It was Jiraiya who broke it.

"She's turned back. I've heard townsfolk talk about it." A pensive pause. "How did it happen?"

Tsunade shook her head. "I do not know the complete details. She's still being difficult."

"As expected. Like father like daughter after all." Jiraiya commented with a chuckle of delight.

"Yes." Tsunade allowed a small smile grace her lips as she placed her elbows on the desk and rested her head on intertwined fingers.

"But she recounted enough. It seems Itachi is the cause."

The white-haired Toad Hermit raised a brow, interested. "How so?"

"Kakashi recalled an attack Itachi struck her with. He probably meant to kill her but the chakra somehow destroyed the seal."

"I told you not to place the seal on her chest." Tsunade glared at Jiraiya for his matter-of-factly tone.

"So what if you did? Besides, it didn't matter. The attack would have destroyed the seal anyway. The chakra from the attack spread all over the body."

Jiraiya rubbed his chin thoughtfully as he pondered on what to say. He came up with nothing, deciding to turn his attention back to the blonde Hokage.

"As you know, it was a potion I created that allowed Kakashi to turn into a boy. The seal was only meant to contain the potion inside the body since the transformation was impermanent."

What Jiraiya thought to be a pause for dramatic effect was actually a pause to stare at him with a look he could not grasp. When it displayed on his face that he finally did, Tsunade leered.

"You want something don't you." A statement meant as a question, but didn't sound like one.

"I'm pleased that you know me so well. And I must say, you've chosen an excellent time returning this time." She grinned while handing a sheet of paper folded to that of a square.

"As you can perceive," She watched as he disbelievingly read the sheet's contents. "those aren't found in Konoha. I need you to acquire them for me." Jiraiya's face twisted into an unpleasant scowl.

"Fine. But just this once." He pocketed the letter and stood up to leave. Before he stepped out the door, however…

"These are ingredients for the potion aren't they? So the brat doesn't want to remain a she?" _Such a waste_, he thought.

"I'm preparing to make one in case she decides not to."

"I thought so." _So indecisive. Just like you Sakumo._ Jiraiya smiled although Tsunade could not see. He was out the door before she could thank him. Not that she was planning on saying it.

* * *

Don't expect regular updates. It's summer here so it's hot. It's hard to write and think of something when it's hot. This chapter was written three times. The first two versions suck and I never finished it. I had been writing this one chapter for weeks.

Review please! Bye bye!

Sunday, April 22, 2007. 11:37 PM


	2. Chapter 2

This took a long time. I guess you should expect the same for the next chapter. During the time this wasn't updated, I've managed to upload my second female Sasuke fic if you guys care to read it. It only has one chapter though, only recently uploaded. The title is _**The Desired Reality**_. I got bored with the first one so I don't think I'll be updating that yet. But we will see.

Anyways, thanks for those who reviewed!

* * *

Pain. Pain was everywhere, but the thought of being there kept her going. There, she could feel. It wasn't all happiness and joy, there was also pain and tinges of regret. But still a place to feel, anything and everything. She always went there, every waking day, after a mission, when there was nothing to do or even if there was.

She remembered that sensei, when he was still alive, would always find her there and she would be taken back to the hospital. He would grin with triumph though they both knew he felt the same way, of wanting the solace that this place offered. They never talked about it. She just knew. And he knew she knew. That had been enough. Or maybe it wasn't entirely, but they felt better with just the silent understanding. She never wanted to talk about it.

Going back to her escape, it was somewhat a tradition, breaking out of the cold walls of the dreaded hospital. Could they blame her for not wanting to stay there? The sterilized smell was suffocating and the dull white was blinding. It almost drove her crazy. Not that she hadn't felt she wasn't. She always thought she was so near falling off the edge of sanity.

Obito had something that made him special to her. As a man, she couldn't discern her feelings. Now, as a woman, she realized she loved him. Her feelings for him never felt as important as it felt right now.

If only she had not been a boy, she could have told him. She could have known she loved him. And he could have known she loved him. Maybe he'd have loved her back. Her. Not Rin.

Truth be told, she had forgotten her true identity. Only remembering on random days then forgetting again. Who could blame her? To live as she did for more than two decades, how could she not forget? There were no photographs, no old clothes or toys, nothing to remind her of her true gender.

Confused. Afraid. Did she want to stay like this?

She felt weaker, more vulnerable than ever. It felt like the walls that kept her fears away crumbled with Itachi's attack. Did he find out? Did he see her transform to this state? Of course he did. Still, she's doubting. Perhaps he didn't. Hopefully, he did not see. But, nothing would change either way.

She needed her sensei. She needed someone. Anyone. But she doesn't want to need anyone. She'll stay alone and lock the weaknesses. It was better that way, had always been. A person like her doesn't deserve anyone.

She arrived in the field, surrounded by nothing but trees and her inner demons that mounted with each kill and just never seemed to go away. She stood in front of the stone of countless names, her one eye focusing on nothing, none of whom she knew nor of whom she didn't know, just on the surface with its dull shine. Frankly, she'd gotten tired of looking at it.

"Sensei, Obito, Rin. Do you recognize me?" She waited as if she would be given an answer and closed her eye momentarily to revel the bitter wind that hit her. "It's me. Kakashi."

Was she crying? She wished it was raining so she could tell herself that the burn in her eye was the fault of droplets that entered it. But it wasn't raining. So that meant she was crying. Why, when there was nothing to cry about?

She collapsed, told herself that it was of physical exhaustion and not of the weight of anguish that seemingly began to increase faster than her more delicate body could take. She gripped the stone with trembling fingers, initially to provide leverage to stand but decided against it. It was cold, but gave some comfort to her disoriented heart.

Still she felt empty. The pain remained and the wall that surrounded her for decades continued to crumble.

* * *

Inside a dimly lit club, three familiar Konoha shinobi were seated at the bar, each holding a bottle or glass filled with some kind of alcohol.

In order of their seating arrangement, to the foremost left sat Sarutobi Asuma, son of the deceased Sandaime and leader of Team 10. To the foremost right sat Namiashi Raidou, a quiet man with a scar marring his face, former sentry of the Sandaime. And sandwiched between them, none other than Shiranui Genma, arrogant and haughty playboy.

Said man with the shoulder-length brown hair and senbon in mouth, appreciatively scanned the ladies around with charming brown eyes. Those who met his playful gaze either blushed or sighed in utter glee and merriment, although it comprised mostly of the young ones who were either unaccustomed or still lacked much experience to his way of being.

The older and more experienced ones flirted, and of course, he went along. He always did.

"If you're not actually planning on getting laid with any of these ladies, Genma, I suggest you stop before their boyfriends make you."

True enough, men had been glaring at said man for who-knows-how-long. But knowing they could do nothing about it, and knowing that it was futile if they tried, dismissed the great aura of resentment and delighted himself to provoke them more.

He swirled his stool to face the counter he had previously been leaning his back on and took a swig of beer before turning to grin at the owner of the voice, senbon jerking skyward at the action. "You're such a spoilsport sometimes."

Raidou chose to ignore remark and decided that a conversation would be a better choice than one-sided comments from the younger jounin.

"I heard Kakashi escaped from the hospital."

Asuma stopped mid-drag of his cigarette and finally switched his attention from his sake to Raidou, who smiled like he anticipated the reaction. The smoker suddenly had the feeling that the purpose of this conversation was to get his attention.

"Again?" Genma's eyebrow rose just a little, not really interested.

Everyone knew of the Copy-Nin's abhorrence of the hospital. The extent of his toleration of the place when awake would be two days the most. The thing worthy of note was that they never managed to stop him every time, no matter how incapable his condition be.

"How long did he last this time?" He continued happily.

As the three men nattered, the subject of their conversation was sitting in a dark corner nearby, partially listening to her oblivious comrades.

Kakashi watched as Raidou shrugged and took a sip of his beer before saying. "I suppose you've heard the rumors?"

"I've heard a few." It was Asuma's first words since the last hour. "Hoshigaki Kisame's head is said to be rotting somewhere in ANBU headquarters."

Further words were discontinued when a new voice quipped. "That would be true." Morino Ibiki occupies the stool beside Asuma, the three watching him in the process with complete interest — with the exception of Genma — on the subject matter.

"That had been two days ago." Ibiki supplied. Then he added. "I assume you've just returned from a mission…?"

"That would be true." Raidou mimicked, providing a mocking smile. Then he turned curious. "There is another rumor though that has taken hold of my interest…"

While Raidou conversed, concurrently Genma scanned the crowd once again then sighted a person at a shadowed corner of the club. What caught his eyes were the tufts of gray hair that escaped the cover of the hood of his cloak and a portion of a familiar navy blue cloth covering the person's features from the nose down.

Genma only knew of one person that fit the description and so approached the shadowed figure with the intent to bring uninvited cheer, and probably to uncover the truth of the rumors he only half heard from his companions. Not that he was interested. He just loved the satisfaction he gets from bugging people.

Slightly irritated, knowing exactly what Genma was planning, Kakashi immediately stood up to avoid the older jounin, weaving her way to the dance floor and nearer to the exit.

She didn't have to look back to know that Genma was still following her.

Back at the bar, the men ignored their friend's absence thinking he went to chase some female, having not seen who Genma was intent on pursuing.

He knew very well the Copy-Nin knew he was grinning. It made him grin all the more. It was rare to get irritation out of Kakashi because usually he was the main source of everyone's irritation. Judging from the obvious evasion, it was the perfect moment to finally get back at Kakashi for the countless unnerving occurrences brought upon him — and the lot of shinobi for that matter.

The scheming shinobi frowned however when his target staggered and he realized that the pace had been noticeably lowered to almost a normal walk. Watching the swaying gait, Genma recalled his comrade's said fight with Akatsuki and realized that Kakashi might have been more injured than he initially thought.

Worried, he increased his pace to his friend who collapsed right before reaching the exit.

"Oy, Kakashi. Are you alright?"

The Copy-Nin was practically sprawled on the floor, breaths harsh and uneven.

Kakashi weakly, but harshly shrugged Genma's hand from her shoulder, not wanting to face her comrade. She did not want anyone to find out yet. Unfortunately, her hood fell, her long silver hair revealed to Genma's eyes.

She heard him mutter something. The words were unclear to her ears but the tone was unmistakable. He was frozen in shock and disbelief. The door was approximately six feet away and she summoned the remaining strength to escape. It seemed to be her unlucky day, however, when Maito Gai stepped through the doorway the moment she reached it and they collided.

She briefly heard him utter her name with as much disbelief and surprise as the other before she blacked out and collapsed.

* * *

Again, guys, ignore the things that's different from the anime/manga. I know who is dead or not. I've read some of the manga now until the latest chapter where they finally revealed Yondaime's name and Naruto's mother's name. Haha! So exciting!

And yeah, the ending to this chapter is lame, but at least I finally updated.


	3. Chapter 3

She couldn't breathe. She felt dizzy, nauseous, saw the world as a swirling mass of colors and formless shapes. Someone was carrying her somewhere. She knew because she felt the pump of adrenaline, the rush of heartbeat her head was pressed against, the cold air hitting her face and its fight against the warmth of the person's body made her body shiver.

She looked up at the sky, moonless and not quite black, sprinkled with stars that winked down at her.

And then she heard his voice, which sounded impeccably like Genma's. She chuckled slightly, corrected her thoughts while gasping for a breath. 'Hang in there,' he said. Genma wouldn't say that, not with the way this man did—anxious, laced with urgency and a tinge of worry— therefore this man wasn't Genma. Or so she told herself. Not that it mattered or will ever matter.

What mattered was the next time she opened her eyes the sky was gone and her gaze was toward the repulsive white ceiling of the hospital.

"_Please, Tsunade. Please make the potion."_

She woke up and Tsunade was there. One glance at the blonde she saw concern and relief. She couldn't move. She was strapped to the bed. Another glance, at the room this time, she found not one window, leaving no route of escape other than the doorway, which would be locked from outside and guarded once Tsunade goes away.

The wordless silence rang loud. Louder.

She felt weak. She thought of escape yet couldn't deny the tiredness and frailty and immediately threw away the thought. This body was weak. She could not afford weakness, not ever.

"You've been too careless." She was angry. Furious. "Do you know what could have happened had Genma not arrived when he did?"

Ah. So it had been Genma. Her senses have not failed her that time. She only faintly paid attention to the older woman's voice teeter between worry and anger.

Tsunade was secretly delighted that Kakashi was facing the other way. She covered her clenched eyes with her hand and took shaky breaths to quell her anger. She couldn't help it if she cared for this the young woman so much. She would have adopted her had Kakashi wanted. But no, the child chose to live alone, rebuked the hands that offered help, stayed away from warmth of the people and chose cold isolation. That child who could have been—should have been hers.

She kept denying it. Kept telling herself over and over and over, that she did not make the potion so Sakumo would accept her, so that Sakumo would see how much she loved him and how much she still wanted to be with him. It wasn't for her selfish desire to earn love. It definitely wasn't.

Tsunade gulped down her tears. She looked back, almost gasping as she found Kakashi looking at her.

Finally Kakashi met her eyes, a gaze that held no anger but with an intensity that reminded her of that day with Sakumo, of her denial and sin.

_She looked at his eyes. Her heart drummed loud._

"_Please, Tsunade. Please make the potion. If not for her then for me."_

"_Alright." _

* * *

_Jiraiya looked away and pitied him. That child, now a boy, was at heartbreak. Jiraiya knew that Kakashi only wanted her father's acceptance. She only wanted her father's love that Sakumo never seemed to give enough of. She thought, just as Sakumo himself thought, that once she'd become a boy she'd be easier to love. _

_They were wrong and the child will be the one to pay the price._

_Still, Jiraiya thought, everything would have been fine. Yet… Jiraiya clenched his fists white. How dare he. How dare he die! How _dare_ he leave this child?_

_Throughout the years Jiraiya knew him, all those years of great courage through thousands of battles, yet to commit suicide for a single failure… How could the White Fang crumble in the most piteous and cowardly way?_

_Of course, he knew Tsunade was also to blame. But he'll get to that soon enough later._

_He felt his body shake with anger and disgust and looked back at the child, standing in front of her_—_his_—_ father's lone grave and held the dagger that took his father away. The dagger Sakumo himself used to take his own life. _

_It wasn't the boy's face that showed emotions but the small hands that gripped the weapon._

_He wanted to take the child with him, make the child forget with travels, but Jiraiya knew better. This is Sakumo's child after all. This child would not take his hand. This child would stand on his own. He would keep going and going even if he would have to crawl his way through. _

_No matter the shortcomings of Kakashi's own father, Jiraiya could never replace him. He would not be allowed, by the boy or by himself. And yet he found himself walking over, felt the small shoulders stiffen from with his large, unfamiliar hand, and then said, "Kakashi…" The boy looked up at him and all the words he'd wanted to say was sucked away from him._

_How could the child look like his father so much that it ached. Jiraiya's eyes turned away, not wanting to see himself look at the face of his dead friend. And then he realized that he had to say something, forced back his gaze, looked into those dark orbs and smiled a strained smile that probably looked twisted instead of comforting. He did not know what to say anymore._

_To his luck the one-sided awkwardness was interrupted. _

_Old man Sarutobi smirked at him knowingly and although Jiraiya is delighted and relieved and grateful and many other things, he frowns and turns away, allowing Sandaime to approach the boy. That desolate, miserable, forsaken child who should be crying instead of persisting to stand in front of the grave of an undeserving father and clinging onto that cursed dagger._

_That abandoned daughter-turned-son who deserved so much more than what was handed over by the White Fang's selfishness. _

_The villagers did not understand Sakumo's sacrifice and shunned him. Now that he's gone, Kakashi is the next target. He'll endure it. Jiraiya hopes he would._

"_Sensei." _

_That's when Jiraiya finally remembers his student, who had been wordlessly waiting for his sensei to acknowledge his existence in this piteously-given, dirty portion of land for traitors of the village, and who then stomped over to him purposely displaying his impatience like the brat he is._

_Minato, still young and untried, shared the view of the villagers, did not understand why Jiraiya-sensei, and even Sandaime-sama even stepped into this place. Jiraiya knew from the twisted expression of disgust on the blonde's face. A lecture was sure set on Minato's lips when he made the mistake of looking over his sensei's shoulder, spotting and finally noticing the mask-donning child with a shock of pure silver hair. For a minute, he lost his disgusted expression._

_Silenced with wide-eyed curiosity, Minato watched the child. Jiraiya, grateful for the peace smiled a little, decided that he would change the blonde's view and seized the young man's shoulders._

"_Minato," he started, earning a surprised and annoyed 'what' from the blonde but nonetheless ignored him for the boy._

_He will not let this child fall on the same path as Sakumo's, "that boy…" Minato glanced at his sensei from the odd pause, "that boy will become a great man."_

_Confused, not to mention a bit irritated and jealous at the praise and attention his sensei was paying to some other brat, did not understand what the boy had to do with him of all people._

_Jiraiya would teach Minato, and in turn Minato would teach Kakashi._

"_Take care of him." The small smile on Jiraiya's face turned to a full-fledged grin before he slapped Minato's back and went to annoy the other brat._

_Not long after, the Konoha's Yellow Flash found that same silver-haired brat on his team._

Jiraiya smiled at the memory, ready to hunt for the next ingredient on his list. But he was easily distracted by a passing beauty in the shape of a woman.

* * *

A bit of TsunadeXSakumo. I always wanted to do that but I kept putting it off. I'll write one, hopefully soon. Anyone else like that pairing?

I think Sakumo is younger than the Sannin. Am I right? Please tell me, guys.

Please review! Hope you enjoyed it! -

Updates may come slower from now on. I'm starting my first year of University this June.

Third chapter of my Fem Sasuke fic, _The Desired Reality_, is out.


	4. Chapter 4

Blue, blue skies and flowers in full bloom. Endless laughter and innocent smiles. Where had they gone? When had she lost those things? When had she stopped dreaming?

Kakashi looked at the mirror, at the monster with long silver hair and mismatched eyes.

What do you see, the gray eye seemed to say.

I see a woman, strong and brave, the red one answered.

Aye, the gray agreed. But beyond… there is broken, there is frail. There is a weakling.

The red one did not seem to argue.

* * *

Chapter 4

* * *

There was a stranger in the house. She had the same silver hair its master had, though his was spiky and definitely did not reach past his lower back. She had the same eye, a very dark gray that never quite reached black. She even possessed the same long, yet not too long strides that displayed laziness and hidden power.

And then there was that covered eye and that dark mask and that orange book that peeked out from one of the pouches.

With all that likeness, the only conclusion was that this person definitely wasn't a stranger at all.

Kakashi once again distinguished the unfamiliarity of being away too long. The partially unwelcoming air, the dust-coated furniture, the strange ringing of silence.

A sigh escaped her masked lips before she entered the bathroom and completely stripped off all clothing. She left the water cold to numb unwanted sensations, pretending it washed away the grief and the weakness and the pain until it did for but a moment.

_The eyes that looked at her were empty. The smile he had wasn't for her. The touch lacked warmth. The love hardly existed._

_Then one day he called her. And she thought her large, anxious eyes caught something important flicker in her father's eyes, something that was never there before._

_Do you want to be like me, he said._

Kakashi stared at the ceiling, fragments of the dream still echoing in her mind.

"_She said yes, Jiraiya, with as much eagerness as you have with your 'research'."_

"_Do not think you can convince me with that! You are taking advantage of her innocence!"_

"_I only seek her protection!"_

"_You have no such noble wish! You simply seek solace and redemption from a daughter you cannot seem to love! You know I'm right!"_

Jiraiya had always argued and she had been there to unintentionally listen many times. Her infant mind could not comprehend the reason for his contempt, even with all the genius that ran through the veins of her little body. She couldn't open her innocent eyes to the wicked reality of her father's intention.

She had sought for an end to her father's disregard. The end was his death.

He couldn't love his daughter. But at least he tried. At least, he really tried.

* * *

"Kakashi is actually a girl?" Anko cried, completely surprised yet looking excessively pleased. "I knew it! No wonder he never…"

Drowning out Anko's histrionics, the other shinobi resumed the conversation.

"So you have seen this… other form of Kakashi?" Kurenai laid her gaze on Ibiki.

"I have. Though only from a distant view," he admitted, nodding his head just slight enough.

"How is that possible? Shouldn't medical check-ups have revealed her identity?" Kurenai furrowed her brows in thought. "Unless she had paid them to retain secrecy."

"I doubt it, Kurenai-san. Seriously." Kotetsu quipped.

"Knowing Kakashi-san, he probably did not attend a single one of those check-ups." Izumo laughed at the idea.

"You're right." The other three chorused, amazed at the revelation.

They conversation died at that, having satisfied them for the time being.

Whereas Genma had no such satisfaction at all.

He couldn't forget that night. He couldn't forget the semi-frightened stare when she realized that he was still in the room as Tsunade started to peel off her mask. Of course he had no such luck to witness its complete unveiling. He had been ushered out by a frantic Shizune before Tsunade even realized her careless mistake.

Or maybe Tsunade just didn't care. Her health was more important than someone seeing her face. Either way, he was still too flustered to resist Shizune's persisting exploit of his exit.

He caught a last glimpse of long silver locks and the scarlet eye before the door closed.

It had already been two weeks. He still couldn't forget that night, that mismatched gaze, that vulnerable, trembling body, those very cold hands. He could not forget that woman.

God, he needed a drink.

* * *

Do you guys know the HakuXSakura fic _The Purest_? At least I think that's the title. I can't find it anymore. Is it deleted? If anyone knows, can you please tell me the author? Thank you!

And I'm still deciding on the timeline of this fic. Maybe just after Sasuke went away. And if there will be a pairing, probably KakashiXGenma? I think it's going in that direction. But we'll just see.

This will probably be the last in a while, but I'll try. Thank you for those who reviewed! You inspired me to write this chapter!


	5. Chapter 5

I last updated this on June 3, 2008. Hello, after five years.

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Genma's jaw hurt from having clenched it so hard. He couldn't help it, seeing as he couldn't let go of the woman he kept seeing in his dreams. And so here he was,_ again_, on a tree branch outside her apartment, waiting for that glimpse, that very, very short glimpse of his mysterious friend. He cursed himself quietly, as he did every time he found himself coming here despite that his head kept telling him otherwise, and as he did every single time he could not will himself to leave until he saw her.

_Just one more hour_, he told himself, and groaned at his own foolishness. Really, he should stop, but he really could not.

It began when he sneaked in to Kakashi's room in the hospital, intending to check up on him. Or her, as practically the whole village now knew. He couldn't help being curious, no one would blame him for wanting to see what his long time comrade actually looked like. To think after nearly three decades of being acquainted, no one knew him— her —at all. For some time he felt a bit upset that Kakashi had not told him or anyone at all, about this big secret. Nor did she make any effort at all to explain anything about the matter. Or _about anything at all_, he realized belatedly.

And so he had entered, swung the door quietly because Kakashi may be resting, and she was. And she had not been wearing her mask. And he stared, hand not leaving the door knob and not moving for a long time. He just looked at that unfamiliar face, so peaceful, so feminine, so unlike what he pictured in his mind. He expected a pretty face, maybe a bit manly. He hoped she at least wouldn't look ugly, or even plain.

But she was more than pretty. He didn't want his eyes to leave her.

He had to though, when a nurse rushed him out, telling him that visiting hours was over for that day. He didn't come back to the hospital. Instead he decided to visit her at her apartment once he found out she'd been discharged. When he got there though, he couldn't bring himself to ring the doorbell, suddenly unsure how he would react around her.

He had decided to check if she was indeed at home first. She had been. When he had caught that one glimpse of her that day, his heart had skipped several beats. She was stunning, walking around wearing just a loose sweater that exposed a lot of skin around her collarbone and everything below the middle of her thighs. That had been two months ago, and he'd been visiting that tree every single day he could, just waiting and watching, and waiting and watching.

"_Shit_. I'm so pathetic!" He chastised himself inwardly, giving himself reasons why he should leave, why he should stop, if he had no intention of going to her door to attempt making a conversation. _Go to the door. Just ring the doorbell and act naturally. You can do it, old boy. Act naturally. It's still just Kakashi. He hasn't changed. Well he did, but only physically._

And there she was (he noticed the movement right away), walking out of the bathroom with a towel on her head. She was naked everywhere else. "Damn it," he whispered, unable to look away. His eyes went everywhere. He long legs, her slim waist. Her full breasts with those very pink nipples. He was so hard he was going insane. He wanted to howl with the overwhelming lust.

She was beautiful. So beautiful it was painful to keep looking knowing he could not touch her. "Damn you, Kakashi. What are you doing to me?" An irritated sound escaped his lips as he watched stride in to her bedroom. After twenty minutes and still no sign of her, he knew she wouldn't be appearing again soon.

He wondered if she knew he was there. _How could she not know? I've been coming here for two fucking months! Damn you, just look out the window for once! _He wanted this to end so badly. If she sees him, and confront him, then he'd be left with no choice but to admit what he'd been doing. He'd finally be able to talk to her again, and maybe he'd find that she was still the same and he could go back to being his old self, doing his normal routines, chasing other ladies and dreaming of things other than her. Somehow he knows that wouldn't happen.

Trembling and throbbing in sweet pain, he was frustrated that she knew nothing about the fire that burned in his body. He wanted that soft, white body writhing beneath his and screaming from the pleasure. That image wouldn't leave his head, and if it went on longer he would probably just crash in through the window, grab her and take her without asking. It was becoming a good idea.

Mustering all his will, he stood up and jumped away, not looking back because he knew he'd change his mind and do to her what his body had been wanting for months.

He resolved to remedy this soon though. After all, it can't go on like this forever.


End file.
